🚨 Urgent Update 🚨
The Monkey From Outbreak Critically Ill...
We Will Tell You First... Did They Get To Him To Hide The Truth?
👉 FAX FOR LATEST 👈
The Monkey From Outbreak Critically Ill...
We Will Tell You First... Did They Get To Him To Hide The Truth?
👉 FAX FOR LATEST 👈An online memorial to our fallen ape friends using the technology of the World Wide Web to bring us all together in mourning. This site replaces the previous Compuserve group Apeloss Online and the AOL Group Ape Obituaries and Love. Please be aware we are nothing to do with the Yahoo group "Lots of Dead Monkeys". There was a mistake and we ended up on a link chain and we do not in any way align with their views, their actions, or what they said about us in our guestbook. Also Teri from that group needs to stop calling us late at night and asking if we want to see a dead monkey. It's sick. Teri is a sick person and a bitch and she will go to hell.
Also. Please stop emailing us about the clowns. We are aware, we tried, but they just kept coming back.
We have tried securing the site but we have become the target of several groups of people with too much time on their hands. Filling in the phone number form on the memorial book is a literal death sentence. RIP AZMonkeyLover@lycos.com. Please consider only browsing this site on a dedicated or library computer if possible.
RIP The Monkey From Friends & AZMonkeyLover@lycos.com
May you have all the bananas you want in Heaven.
Please click our sponsors to enable us to continue to keep everything Ape To Date
*in response to some unpleasant requests we have received we would like to reassert we are nothing to do with the service Ape To Date recently featured on numerous investigatory news shows.
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Harambe gave his Earth Life protecting a small boy from his parents. The New World Order could not have people seeing that monkeys are capable of living with us in our homes and so shot him in the face.
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Chuck Chuck had mind powers but his mind powers were not strong enough to defeat the powers of Ralph Nader. Ralph Nader makes you wear a seatbelt so he can take the DNA from them and take our natural psychic powers.
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They say Mr Bananas died when he strayed onto a construction site to steal food but we all know it was a trap and he was murdered because he and I once shared a mind bond during a visit to the zoo and he told me to set him free. The NWO cannot let people know this power is in the hands of ordinary people and not just Ralph Nader.
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Apes do not get struck by meteors unless the government wants them to. That is all I am going to say because the storm is coming.
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Okay we all agreed this one was natural causes or aliens. Either way it's sad but we're not wasting too much energy on him.
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monkeymagic333jesusisoursaviour@yahoo.com has written to say George Skywalker puts apes inside the stormtubers he dismembers in all his Tekwar movies.
We must boycott the forthcoming Tekwar movie. Phantom Menace? Literally one letter away from Phantom Menape... monkey ghosts... He's not even hiding it.
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We are the first to admit our mistakes. We 100% thought it was a DEA agent in a gorilla suit trying to infiltrate Apebide With Me. We were all tired. We were all stubborn. We should have given up sooner when it was clear it was not a mask and it was not coming off as easily as it should.
In our defence, we believe the gorillas would be okay with sacrificing one or, maybe three, lives in order for us to reveal the threat against them.
Despite the ongoing disagreement in the newsgroup, or at least until the newsgroup was flooded with pictures of shark attack victims, I count Columbo as dead.
I don't care if he's currently regrowing a little more of his skin with ever victim Claire. He fucking technically died so he gets put on the site and if he dies again I will put him on twice and I will send a second update.
Legally we do not accept blame. Those billionaires and the ape all signed a waiver and that waiver covered loading it aboard in a box labelled toilet paper.
A reminder that it's only thanks to your kind donations that Tipsy could live his dream of paying his respects to the five six apes that died on the Titanic.
No it's not a real ape.
However legally a certain bunch of scumsucking lawyers and overly-litigious childrens' comic told me that if I do write, against my wil, and God's will, that I will stop publishing webisodes of the entirely unrelated and vastly superior ADULT webcomic The Wolverape, they will sue me.
An approximate guess is that more than 35-40% of apes launched into space by Nasa were not rescued by aliens.
This figure is based on my own personal conversations with Xankaru. If you wish to learn more of this ancient alien knowlede and all other knowledge IMMEDIATELY purchase at least one copy of my book:
Painting Apes Naked With Xankaru.
Our thoughts go out to his cats. We are forever grateful that during the final week of his life he willed all his worldly assets to the Apebide With Me Charitable Foundation For Ape Adjacent Activities.
Those hundreds of bullets may have taken his life but they'll never take down his lycos website all about apes.
note: we will not be linking the site because we have a policy of not linking competing websites. We like to think AZMonkeyLover@lycos.com would understand this best of any of us.
We have a lot to say about the police's handling of this case and we are totally going to say it once a very minor thing we have going with the most excellent police departments of Wyoming and Kansas and a few other equally great places decide to see sense and drop those charges that they know are entirely misplaced. Much like those organs were misplaced by their owners that day and we were bringing them back to them.
Who decided parasites are bad? Check my science book, it was the NAZIS.
I regularly get parasites drinking nutritious raw roof water from natural gutter aquifurs and they are nature's mini-wives. They bond with us and give us powers and sometimes it feels nice when they are wriggling out if you happen to sit on food.
In the old grey film King Kong, you can see her boobs when she falls in the water.
*END SPOILERS*
Werner Herzape, the only ape director, died eating his shoe because he lost his fucking mind and decided shoes were edible. He was later found dead with a bootlace running from throat to taint like that seam you get on a prawn that's full of poop.
Fun Fact: It is impossible to be bothered to remove the poop vein from more than two prawns.
AWAITING DEATH
AWAITING DEATH
Even though they are dead, In my heart they were once alive. Although I never met them. Also fuck Teri, you want to call someone? call me 1-667-265-4142.
AZMonkeyLover@lycos.com
oh someone gonna call monkeefucker
anon
This is the Arizona police department, please contact us immediately.
Detective A. R. Freely
Lol.
lol
The Book of Memoryalls is currently closed as it is legally evidents.
Every monkey that dies, almost always at the governments hands, must be remembered. But not photographed. We memorylize every dead ape and spend five minutes per working day looking out of a window and thinking about it.*
* as more apes die we reservew the right to either think for a shorter time or to outsource to more thinkers. Whilst longterm we hope to employ entirely U.S. Remembererers we currently rely on youthful chinese memories for budget reasons.
Whilst we may not have formal investigative training, we are well aware of many of the conspiracies festering around us today and how they effect apes and sometimes kill them and their lovers. This makes us the only people who should legally investigate any and all deaths that occur in the ape world and in our vicinity.
There cannot be a conflict of interest if you're working for Apemanity.
Kingsize waterbed in luxurious brown fur. As this is natural fur there may be some repaired holes and scarring and also extensive stitching and staining.
The waterbed has been used for heavy sexual activity and has been profoundly matted and we do not know if it is possible to clean. It may just be best to use clippers to remove the matts or perhaps shave the entire bed.
We have sprayed the entire bed with Fabreeze at our own cost. I am unable to post pictures and all sales are final.
We welcome members from all countries. Because the web is world wide. Sadly I cannot work out how to stop the dutch from accessing this website but please know you are deeply unwelcome here.
If you are reading this site please know you are now legally a member of Apebide with Me and your yearly membership fee is 10,000 bitcoins or 12 cents. For this you will get emailed first with all new Ape Deaths, member deaths and things i am selling.
Due to the hack leading to us all having to re-install Windows, there was no winner last week and, no, there will never be another fucking quiz outside of a faraday cage .
I have recently, via a whistleblower, come into possession of a very large quantity of ape blood. We believe this is the biggest hurdle already passed.
